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Everyone knows that kids go through "stages." What you
probably don't know is that everything from the terrible twos to the trying
teens and that threshold of adulthood crisis at 21 has an astrological explanation. Knowing what these
influences are can increase
your understanding of your child, give you more patience, provide guiding wisdom to
help them navigate through it, and also inspire hope that yes, this, too shall pass.
And don't think for a moment that once you get past 21 that these major events
cease! That mid-life crisis and "empty nest syndrome" have astrological
corollaries as well.
It’s important to know the general theme of
each astrological sign so you can understand how your child is
"programmed, where s/he is going and thus prepare him or her for
the journey. These are elements that will be ingrained in their
psyche and will be there whether you like them or not; your
child cannot do anything about his basic nature and neither can
you. Ignoring this will not make those irritating qualities or
behaviors go away; it will simply drive your child to other
sources for whatever you don’t provide. I don’t have any
problem admitting that I would do any number of things
differently if I were raising my six children today. I wish I’d
had the benefit of astrology; it would have changed my tactics
in a plethora of ways if I’d had that insider information about
what made each of them tick. Maybe I can improve some of my
karma by sharing this information mingled with my experience.
Those infamous yet predictable life stages come about primarily as a result of outer planet transits,
i.e. Jupiter,
Saturn, the
asteroid,
Chiron, and
Uranus.
Neptune and
Pluto move very slowly and are primarily
responsible for the "generational effect" where children born over the
course of several years
have these planets in the same sign, giving them similar characteristics as
noted on the specific planet pages linked above. When
a child is very young, the inner planets have the most noticeable effect.
For example, around the age of 22 months a child will have his first Mars
return, which is when Mars returns to its natal position on the child's
Natal Chart. Obviously
this coincides quite closely with the advent of the "terrible twos."
Of course the most obvious "return cycle" is our
solar return,
more commonly known as our birthday.
This marks the beginning of a new life cycle every year of our life, the
specifics of which can be read in a solar return chart which is cast for the
exact moment when the Sun returns to the degree it was in when you were born.
This may be on your birthday or sometimes the day before or after. The Sun
represents our ego and each birthday this gets redefined, either consciously or
subconsciously. Children identify very closely with age, and this is
part of the reason; we know intuitively that we've reached another milestone
relative to who we are and progressed accordingly. Children tend to look up to those who are older
and look forward to the additional privileges available as they get older,
whether it's to start kindergarten, first grade, middle school, high school, get
a driver's license, be able to vote, smoke, drink or whatever. We even
look forward to 25 when our insurance rates usually go down! After that we
tend to pay less attention because societal influences are less obvious.
Nonetheless, the even decades such as 30, 40, 50, 60 and above are typically
recognized, even for those of us that tend to try to ignore the years in
between.
I would
hardly represent myself as the perfect parent. If I even attempted to do
so I'm sure one or all of my six offspring would jump right in to quickly
correct the record. One thing I've noticed, however, with not only my own
but other people's children as well is that by the time they get through that first
Saturn return around 29, they are usually either dead, in jail, or straightened
out. I realize that is very representative of my Cappie "gloom and doom"
nature of which I'm reminded on a regular basis by those close to me, but that
doesn't change the fact it seems to work. Fortunately, the vast majority are in the last category. This
undoubtedly relates to our first Saturn return. At that time, as well as a
few stops in between as denoted below, we take a careful look at how we feel
about authority figures, responsibility, our obligations, and the various
restrictions imposed by bureaucracies and other large entities such as
corporations. Back in the 60s the prevailing advise was not to trust
anyone over 30. The implications of that sentiment reflected on the
concept of a Saturn return where after that age people would have a higher
regard for authority and "The Establishment" as it was derisively called back
then. Now the "baby boomers" who grew up with that are twice that age!
However, as a member of that particular group, I'm not sure we have that much
more respect for authority than we did back then, particularly regarding this
most recent crop of politicians.
The following table denotes some of these key cycles and the associated influences
you'll probably recognize, from your own experience growing up if nothing else.
Since this section is largely about children, I haven't included much detail
about cycles past the
20s, but rest assured that they continue throughout your life. Also note
that I've only included the "hard" aspects, such as the square and opposition
since they are the most noticeable. Favorable influences such as the trine
are seldom noticed by virtue of human nature, which takes the good times for
granted while resenting the bad. Note that the early to mid teens and around 21
contain
overlapping cycles that often manifest as difficult times in the child's life
and naturally this splashes on the parents stress level as well. If a
difficult cycle for one or both parents is in effect at the same time it will be
a very trying time indeed for all concerned,
for example if one or both parents are having their mid-life crisis at the same
time they're trying to raise a teenager.
More information about planetary cycles is available under
Planetary Returns.
|
Planet |
1st Qtr
(Square) |
Half Cycle
(Opposition) |
Last Qtr
(Square) |
Return to Natal
(Conjunction) |
Influence |
|
Mercury
(Mercury completes one orbit
around the Sun in 88 days, but astrology is based on
a geocentric view. Thus, it appears to follow
the Sun other than its retrograde periods that occur
approximately every 4 months.) |
~3
months Responds to loud
noises; recognizes parents' voices; coos, smiles and
responds to attention; rolls over and interacts with
others. By this age is it fairly easy for an
adult to understand what the child is trying to
convey. |
~6
months This is about
the time when a child starts to crawl and explore
his or her world in a more mobile way. His
curiosity is awakened and the child can become bored
if s/he doesn't have an interesting toy or person to
keep him or her occupied.
|
~9
months At this point
the child is usually pulling him or herself up and
may stand unassisted or even walk. They are
occupied greatly with movement and are doing so
during nearly all their waking moments. Even
if they can't quite walk, they usually are adept at
crawling and getting to where they want. If
their efforts are frustrated, they are likely to
protest very loudly. Their vocabulary is
starting to form with simple words.
|
~1 year Most likely
the child is walking and communicating quite
effectively with numerous words and actions.
They are fascinated by various toys and devices such
as the television or cell phones, which they
understand are for communicating so will mimic
talking on one, even if you don't know what they're
saying; they do! At this point the toddler is
rapidly becoming a "miniature person" with his or
her own style of investigating their world and
communicating with it.
|
Mercury rules the brain and is thus all about our
ideas, thoughts and
communicating as well as eye-hand coordination
and motor control (or lack thereof). A child's survival depends on being able to communicate
and move. Each of these
aspects will mark a
milestone in the child's ability to communicate with
his environment and his physical development then
continue at regular intervals of approximately 1
year's duration. During Mercury
retrograde periods, progress will typically slow
down considerably. |
|
Venus
(Venus has a 225 day cycle,
but like Mercury is between Earth and the Sun, so
astrologically its cycle is closer to a year.) |
~ 3 mos
Realizes that eating is more
than just to satisfy hunger but is also enjoyable;
may take a
pacifier refused earlier or nurse for comfort long
after milk is gone. |
~ 6 mos
Interested in food, openly
affectionate, responds to love and attention; may
start to show preference for a certain toy or
blanket as a comfort device.
|
~ 9 mos
Is more
aware of his senses as a way to experience
the world; everything starts to go in the mouth;
pays attention to music and cries when it stops;
voices pleasure or displeasure.
|
~ 1 year
Shows clear preference for
certain toys; may have a favorite blanket or stuffed
animal that is soft and no substitute will do.
Shows affection with kisses and understand what they
mean, i.e. will withhold them if unhappy.
|
Venus
influences our affections, pleasures, what we value,
and where we find comfort. During the first
year an infant shows distinct
stages of development
as he determines his needs and responds to whether
or not they're being met. The ability to
receive and give love is developed during this time. |
|
Mars
(687 day cycle) |
5 - 6 mos
Sits up independently, crawls. |
~11 mos
First steps, unassisted.
Mars and Mercury work together for mobility with
Mars providing the motivation and drive for
independence while Mercury supplies the motor skills
to accomplish the action. |
~ 17 mos
Walking unassisted.
Often resists help or direction. |
~22 - 23 mos
Aware of own identity; Terrible Twos!
Wants to do things his or her own way and shows
considerable resistance when restrained. |
Mars is all about independence and our drive to get
what we want. These cycles
represent the child's efforts to assert himself and
do things he hasn't done before. They motivate
him or her to seek out experiences that provide more
autonomy. How dramatic or difficult these
stages may
be depend on how Mars is placed in the
natal chart as well as in the return chart. If Mars is in a
Fire Sign,
on their Ascendant, the Chart Ruler, or the Sun is
in Aries, this will be more pronounced. |
| 2nd Mars Return |
~ 4 yrs
Interested in new experiences;
develops more complex motor skills such as
riding a tricycle and possibly simple sports.
|
| 3rd Mars Return |
~ 6 yrs
Starting to think on his or
her own and take action based on own experience and
ideas. This is the true difference between
kindergarten and 1st grade! [Corresponds
with Jupiter opposition]
|
| 4th Mars Return |
~ 8 yrs
Various religions consider
this the time when a child becomes accountable and
knows the difference between right and wrong.
They are likely to no longer ask permission as often
or even be openly rebellious.
[Correlates with Saturn square.] |
| Subsequent Mars Returns
every ~ 2 yrs |
Parents have often noted that a child's
even-numbered years tend to be more challenging than the
odd-numbered years; this is easily attributable to Mars returns
when a child's will is renewed, new drives are introduced, and
different experiences pursued. |
|
Jupiter
(12 years) |
3 yrs
Curiosity increases and wants
to learn; answers simple questions. |
6 yrs
"Why?"
Synthesizes information and
begins to form own opinions from discrete
information. |
9 yrs
Socializing increases with other
children; stronger interest in learning; likes and
dislikes more pronounced; "Best friends." |
12 yrs
Begins to realize place in
society; "Cliques"; starts to discover world outside
immediate environment; interest in other lands and
cultures increases. [Correlates with Chiron
square.] |
Jupiter is known as one of the "social planets" and rules
your expectations, beliefs,
and your philosophy of life. You will notice that
your child's understanding of the world around him
changes significantly at each of these milestones.
They are learning not only rote knowledge, which
falls under Mercury, but learning how to put it
together and form their own opinions. Jupiter
also influences your confidence. Note that at
all these junctures s/he thinks he knows it all.
These returns continue
throughout your life with each one representing a
time when you pull it all together in some area of
your life, depending on the House placement of the
return Jupiter. Jupiter rules such things as
politics, religion, higher learning, relocation,
long-distance travel, and legal matters, any of
which can become a new focus with a Jupiter Return.
A new awareness of something and its meaning in your
life will be the hallmark of each one. |
| 2nd Jupiter
Return |
15 yrs
Thinks he knows it all and
everyone else, especially adults, are stupid; peer
pressure strong and influential. |
18 yrs
Graduates from high school;
strong opinions of how world works; begins to
interact with society outside peer circle.
|
21 yrs
Graduates from college;
attains new level of understanding of how the world works,
based on learning and own experience.
[Correlates with Saturn
square.] |
24 yrs
After living in the world on his
own for a few years further grasps how it all fits together
beneath the social umbrella.
|
| 3rd
Jupiter Return |
~ 36 yrs
Re-examines life and its
direction; dramatic changes ensue if things don't
add up. Many individuals return to school,
change jobs, or get more actively involved in
politics or religious organizations at this time.
[Correlates with
3rd Chiron square.] |
| 4th Jupiter Return |
~
48 yrs Reassessment
time again that will result in attitude adjustments
and change. Many people at this age enjoy
travel now that the kids are gone and their income
is likely to be more stable than the earlier years. |
| 5th Jupiter Return |
~ 60 yrs
Enter the "croning"
years when your life experience is displayed as a
panorama expressed by every wrinkle and grey hair.
Perspective is deeper as well as understanding of
the world at large. What needs to be done to
improve the world seems intuitively obvious to you
and yet the rest of the world hasn't caught on.
At this point many of the individuals with whom you
interact such as your physician, legal advisor,
broker, and so forth
will be
younger than you are and you may begin to doubt
whether they really know what they're doing.
[Correlates with
2nd Saturn return.] |
|
Saturn
(29 years) |
7+ yrs
Recognizes right and wrong and
need to follow established rules. Rules are "black
and white;" may not obey but doesn't modify them.
[Correlates with 4th Mars
return.] |
14-15 yrs
Questions restrictions and
boundaries; redefines and interprets rules. |
21-22 yrs
Accepts, adapts or rejects rules of
childhood as s/he is now an adult and no longer
answers to parents.
[Correlates with Jupiter
square.] |
29 1/2 yrs
Recognizes the need for
rules, that lack of responsibility will have a
price, and fighting against the world is an exercise
in futility. In Biblical times, a man was not
considered an adult until he was 30 years old. |
Another "social planet," Saturn rules how you view, respect and respond to authority.
It's about restrictions, delays, your sense of
responsibility, how you handle your obligations and those hard lessons we all
experience, through which we gain wisdom. |
| 2nd Saturn Return |
~ 59 yrs
At your first Saturn
return you learned responsibility and with your
second you begin to gain wisdom. In concert
with the 5th Jupiter Return, an entirely new outlook
begins to form regarding responsibilities,
authority, and anything else that has been a stern
instructor in your particular life. Regard for
authority is likely to change as respect is expected
from others more than you're inclined to give it to
those around you.
[Correlates with 5th Jupiter return.] |
|
Chiron
(50 years) |
12-13 yrs
Hormone and growth influx
brings a wealth of potentially painful experiences
such as discovery of the opposite sex and body
changes. |
25 yrs
By now realizes that the
world is a difficult place and can be cruel. |
37-38 yrs
Mid-life crisis; seeks meaning
in life. Contemplates mistakes, their price,
and corrective action.
[Correlates with 3rd Jupiter return.] |
50 yrs
Has just about "seen it all"
and integrates experiences into psyche; desire
to help and mentor others. Any unresolved
hurts from the past may demand absolution. |
Chiron
influences the various hurtful experiences we
encounter in life and how we use them to help
others. These can be of a physical, mental,
emotional or even financial nature, depending on the
house placement. |
|
Uranus
(84 years) |
21 yrs
Determines own path that
may be significantly different than the way he or
she was raised. Parents can't do much about it
and s/he knows it. |
42 yrs
A different type of freedom
ensues with kids leaving the nest; time to reassess
and redefine life's direction with changes likely. |
63 yrs
Retirement countdown begins;
leaving a career or work behind represents another
type of freedom.
Ambition
is likely to wane or be redirected to another area
(i.e. retirement) if you're caught in a "grind." |
84 yrs
Onset of old age, more social
and physical changes. Freedom at this point
may be lost due to physical limitations. |
Uranus is
about sudden change, freedom, rebellion, disruptions, and the
unexpected after which our life is never the same. These are typically times of our
life when we experience major changes, perhaps of
our own making. |
Progressed Sun and/or Moon signs are other possible reasons for personality and
behavioral changes you may observe in your child, other family members, or even
yourself. If a child is born
toward the end of an astrological sign, his or her Sun Sign will change at an
early age. For example, based on the "day for a year" formula for
advancing a birth chart, a child born at 25 degrees Pisces will display all
the dreamy and typically gentle attributes of a little Fish for the first five
years of life, then about the time s/he enters school, will become more
aggressive and active than previously. Their interests will change,
they'll become more bossy, have a lot more raw energy and be more drawn to or in
need of physical outlets for their exuberance. It would
be natural to "blame" this on the school environment whereas in
reality it's the sign
change. Thus, it's a good idea to take note of when this will occur and be
prepared. Your child may wonder why s/he feels differently as well, even
to the point of wondering "What's wrong with me?" which can be very
disconcerting, especially if they're already at a difficult age. While
they may not be able to understand or even belief in the astrological effects,
you can and thus have a better idea how to help your child because of the
veritable window astrology can give you into their deepest feelings and
motivations.
Conversely, if someone is born at the beginning of a sign, they
won't undergo a sign change until adulthood. In other words, there are
thirty degrees per sign, so if you were born at zero degrees, you will be 30
before you progress into the next one. No matter what age this occurs, it
can be quite disconcerting to the person as well as those close to him or her.
This can have an effect on all relationships but particularly marriages when one of the partners
suddenly changes their personality. This is not to say that they leave
their entire previous persona behind, only that another layer will be added.
The beauty of this evolution is that it teaches us to understand others as we
get to view the world through various zodiacal knotholes. While we never
leave our birth chart entirely behind, these progressions add another layer of
experiential wisdom. As an analogy, if you were born and raised in Montana
you'll always possess the traits and paradigms you acquired from that culture.
If you move to Connecticut you'll assimilate certain elements of that culture
though at heart you'll still be a Montanan.
Even Moon Sign changes are noticeable,
sometimes even more so, at least once you know what to look for.
I've had adult clients come to me asking why they cry more easily than before and
react
more emotionally to stress; this is usually explained by their Moon progressing into Cancer
or Pisces. If someone suddenly becomes more worrisome, critical, complains
more, has to blame everything on someone or something, and is more organized, maybe
even to the point of being a neat-freak, the odds are good their Moon has gone
into Virgo.
Moon signs change approximately ever two and a half years.
The lunar phase changes as well, which also affects a person's emotional nature
and quest for learning. It's a very good idea for a parent to keep track
of their child's Moon Sign since it has such a strong effect on their emotions.
Especially during times that are highly charged anyway, such as the teens, it
provides one more piece of data to help you understand your child and help him
or her grow into a responsible adult. About the time each person reaches
approximately 30 years old, they will experience their first Progressed Lunar
Return, meaning that they will have experienced the entire zodiacal emotional
spectrum, further adding to the wisdom they assimilate with their first Saturn
Return. This has a lot more meaning and learning value when the person
recognizes the different effects of each excursion so s/he can use it for
understanding others' emotional natures. The Natal Moon Sign will still be
in force, but the Progressed Moon will manifest itself somewhat similar to the
way cumin will manifest itself when you add it to a pot of chili. It’s
still chili and maintains its basic character as such, but there’s a new
dimension to its flavor that gives it more authenticity.
Learn more about
your child's inborn traits
Optimize Family Harmony with
a Family Dynamics Report
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