Forecast for the Filthy Rich

June 2007

Ferrari (a.k.a. Gemini, May 22 – June 21): The spotlight is on Ferraris this month, so step up to the footlights and begin this new phase of your life with panache. Make your birthday celebration elaborate and don't be afraid to invite casual acquaintances; you never know what opportunities they'll bring. Expect a few things to go on the fritz this month; the reason is astrological and entirely beyond reason or control. However, don't be too quick to replace anything that acts up, regardless of how badly it may misbehave, unless you can make the switch before June 16; wait at least until after July 10. Trust me on that one. A bit of contention may surface in your immediate social circle, so be prepared to stay cool. Don't look around like a startled beetle is something relative to your social standing or reputation comes to light around the 24th. Past relationship faux pas' coupled with thoughts of what constitutes right and wrong are snapping their fingers for attention; though contrary to your nature, take your time on that one.

Lexus (a.k.a. Cancer, June 22 – July 22): You're likely to feel as if you're a 21st century victim of the Tower of Babel starting the middle of the month. No matter what you say or do, no one will understand and somehow they're going to make it all your fault. Drown your sorrows in something expensive, just make sure it isn't mechanical, electronic, or involve travel, or it will make things even worse. Rather, revamp your wardrobe, which you know is far too modest for your asset range. Past mistakes, particularly regarding employees, may surface, perhaps involving various moral or ethical issues. Give them careful consideration to ascertain the root cause, then move forward with new resolve. Your reputation is likely to come under fire as well. If you think there's a laser dot on your forehead your best bet is to simply duck and lay low for a while.

Rolls Royce (a.k.a. Leo, July 23 – August 23): This is a good month to dress up all pretty, flutter your eyelids, and strut your stuff. Heads will turn and your ego will be well-nourished. If you need a favor of any description, now's the time to ask. Close relationships are probably not meeting your expectations, but bear in mind they may be far too high. Memories of past love affairs may be popping up like gophers in a well-groomed lawn. Confront them and get over it, dahling, or they'll never go away. If you've been eyeing a vantage point in the spiritual realm, be careful you don't trip until the second week of July. Communications and travel generally will be sub-par and reaching Nirvana is no exception.

Lamborghini (a.k.a. Virgo, August 24 – September 22): Any skeletons in your family closet are likely to surface now, along with any related moral or ethical issues. If you started a major remodel or home build last month, you're likely to be having second thoughts. Having expectations that are far too idealistic, especially for the hired help, will cause significant disappointment on a regular basis. Personal or business relationships may hold a surprise or two for several months to com, starting near the end of June. In addition, your social calendar is likely to be in complete disarray with changes, cancellations, misprinted invitations, and numerous disappointments. On the bright side, your reputation is relatively safe and will be highlighted in a positive manner, so turn on the party manners and refrain from criticizing or you might alienate the wrong person. Someone may approach you in a very persistent manner about borrowing money. Listen carefully and objectively, but don't give into pressure alone. Don't take any unnecessary risks until after the 25th.

BMW (a.k.a. Libra, September 23 – October 23): You've probably been wondering about past decisions that may not have turned out as expected. Your sense of fairness is stronger than most, but remember that some see it as being two-faced. Your children or lover may not be telling you everything or perhaps you want something to be true so badly that you've blocked out reality. Just because you love them doesn't mean they're telling you everything you need to know. You tend to be logical and now's a good time. Disruptions or surprises from domestic help are possible. For example, right before that gala evening you've been planning for months, they might tell you they've converted to some ultra-conservative religion and refuse to serve alcohol. If that's the case, just set up a serve-yourself wine bar; your guests won't even notice the void, much less complain.

Maybach (a.k.a. Scorpio, October 24 – November 22): Whatever your holdings happen to be, you're probably giving them some serious consideration. Past mistakes are coming to light like cockroaches in the boathouse and for the first time in your life the legality or ethics of some of your portfolios is making you uncomfortable. Near the end of the month expect the unexpected from one of your children or possibly a lover and don't be surprised if the help get mouthy or some health issue arises right before that fête you have planned for the 4th of July. All this aside, your reputation is solid this month, though not necessarily gold. A new investment opportunity is likely; just make sure you have some liquid cash set up beforehand. Litigation is likely to go awry as well as trips abroad. Go for a continuance on the former and a new itinerary after July 10 for the latter. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Masserati (a.k.a. Sagittarius, November 23 – December 21): You may find yourself under considerable scrutiny, perhaps self-imposed, relative to ethics, morals or the lack thereof that you practiced in the past. More than likely a past faux pas' you thought was forgotten or at least hidden has raised its ugly head like weeds on your putting green. All you can do is correct what you can and learn from the rest. Just make sure your reasoning is sound, though it's moments like this that explain why you keep your attorney on retainer. All of this, or perhaps something else, could spawn a surprise on the homefront sometime near the end of the month. Investor relationships are likely to be in a fog and finding new ones not likely until mid-July. Children or lovers will provide a good energy release from it all, but if you decide to get away make sure your itinerary is in place before June 16th and have alternate plans in place, just in case.

Mercedes Benz (a.k.a. Capricorn, December 22 – January 20): You may experience some mechanical breakdowns at home, but opt for repair versus replacement if it occurs after the 16th. Relationships of a personal and business nature are likely to be challenging as well. Your best bet is to leave sleeping dogs lie until mid-July. As conservative as you tend to be, you might quite unexpectedly come up with an innovative idea toward the end of the month that presents an opportunity you can't pass up, in spite of the risk. Even better is the fact that investors should be on good behavior with a few new ones possibly beating down your door with fists full of cash.

Jaguar (a.k.a. Aquarius, January 21 – February 18): Your trek through Fantasyland continues, or at least you're perceived that way, though it isn't necessarily a bad thing. A unexpected event relative to one of your holdings may strike after the 24th, so be prepared. Your mental energy will be in high gear, so direct it wisely. Miscommunications with domestics or employees is likely so it's probably a good time for a vacation. Depart before the 16th, however, or the plans may go entirely awry. You personal and business relationships should be favorable, so concentrate on them versus interacting with the masses. Give your social circle some scrutiny to see if it fits the law of diminishing returns.

Porsche (a.k.a. Pisces, February 19 – March 20): Expect the unexpected near the end of the month as a cosmic collision of a personal nature is likely. Your investments or possessions may be in jeopardy, so alert your adviser to keep an eye out. Your homelife could be demanding attention, with your children or lovers acting so weird that even you can't figure them out. Not to worry, this phenomena is caused by Mercury's misbehavior and will go away after July 10th. Your domestic help and/or employees should be solid and dependable this month and be willing to do just about anything for you. Treat them accordingly and the payoffs will be worth it. Your reputation may be under scrutiny or at risk in some way. If you've ever done anything questionable, it's likely to come to light, so be prepared to feign innocence.

Hummer (a.k.a. Aries, March 21 – April 20): Your natural aggression will be either your best friend or worst enemy, possibly both, until the 25th. If there's something you need to do that requires lots of energy, do it now. Your mental processes will be sharp as well, so starting a new venture is highly favored, especially since you're the kind that can turn a handful of fifties into a mil with a few well-placed phone calls. Malfunctions with mechanical or electronic devices are likely, especially at home. Opt for repair rather than replacement, unless you can get it done before the 16th. Also be warned that communicating with family members may be about as easy as sinking a putt from a hundred yards. A plethora of possibly unfavorable information is likely to start spewing that you really don't want to deal with. Refer any litigation issues to your attorney; if you try to handle it yourself you'll only make it worse. Heed any sudden or unexpected insights that surface after the 24th.

Bentley (a.k.a. Taurus, April 21 – May 21): A new investment phase could develop this month that should be hard to miss. Your brain, however, might be in the Bahamas or Club Med, even if your body is no farther away than your pool. Not to worry, alert your adviser and/or broker to be on the lookout, just in case. Home will be an especially pleasant place to be, so kick back and plan a Texas style BBQ for the members of your family who don't just like you because your assets are bigger than theirs. Ruminations relative to the true meaning of life are rumbling beneath the surface like a oil well waiting to be found. Likewise, you're likely to be grumbling about opportunities that passed you by because you refused to borrow money. Don't waste time fantasizing about what-if scenarios. Who and what you are today is a direct result of who and what you've always been. Remember the tortoise and the hare and pride yourself in being consistent.