Longhorns (a.k.a. Aries, March 21 – April 20):  For most of the month you is probably goin' to be feelin' your Cheerios.  That natural charm will be a cookin' for those of the opposite gender, but you may tangle a bit with everyone in your path if you come on a bit too strong.  More'n likely things have been a bit tense at home and this ain't goin' away for a while, so keep the fridge stocked with beer and chill out as much as possible.  Y'all are startin' into a new cycle with your birthday, so set some goals, then try to keep them for a change.

Tony Lamas (a.k.a. Taurus, April 21 – May 21):  This month you're likely to be inspired by a number of things and this will most likely come while you're relaxin' or even sleepin'.  If anyone accuses y'all of bein' lazy, just tell 'em y'all are workin' on your next project.  Actually, there's a lot goin' on in the thought department and y'all are very likely to come up with a clever idea.  This could cause a huge fight with someone who thinks y'all are full o' crap and they might actually leave, but this may not be a bad thing.

Dust Devils (a.k.a. Gemini, May 22 – June 21):  I'll betcha that your stuff has been breakin' down more'n usual lately and y'all are gettin' mighty tired of it.  This should get better come the middle of May or so, but meanwhile expect more crap.  Your bloodpressure is probably up there, too, as these annoyances continue to bite your wallet as well.  Home is probably a drag, too, for one reason or another.  Looks like a good time to hang out with your friends and do some thinkin' 'bout what you really want outta life other than a paycheck.

Verandas (a.k.a. Cancer, June 22 – July 22):  Chances are you've been grumpier than usual lately and this will continue until the middle of May.  Y'all may not be seein' many silver linings of them clouds, either, 'specially if some o' the people in your life have been gettin' on your last nerve.  This all sucks like a new-born calf, but there should be somethin' good goin' on with yor career and toward the end of the month things should lighten up a bit as you get together with friends.  If nothin' else, misery loves company, eh?

Tycoons (a.k.a. Leo, July 23 – August 23): Betcha y'all are thinkin' a lot 'bout your wallet these days and how empty it seems to be.  This is probably because you're a classic example of champagne taste on a beer budget.  It's a good time to be doin' some serious thinkin' about your beliefs and what people really think of you.  While your main belief may be simply that you'd like another beer, that may not be what y'all want to be known for.  Take some time to do whatever y'all do to get inspired and see what comes to mind.

Cowpokes (a.k.a. Virgo, August 24 – September 22):  Y'all may see a change in your finances this month and y'all probably already know whether that will be a good or bad thing cuz they're likely to flip-flop from where they've been.  Doin' some heavy thinkin' is likely, but try not to get so lost in the details that you can't see the forest for the trees.  Toward the end of the months start giving what you really believe in some thought.  Spendin' more time by yourself is probably a good idea for the next month cuz y'all are just likely to get into arguments with people if you don't.

Tumbleweeds (a.k.a. Libra, September 23 – October 23):  There's a good chance things around the house could start givin' you trouble as anything y'all have swept under the rug starts crawlin' out into the light of day.  Y'all are quite a social creature, and this should be a good month for get-togethers with the chance of makin' some new friends likely.  If it seems as if y'all have been under attack lately as far as your reputation is concerned, hang in there for about another month and it should go away. 

Oil Wells (a.k.a. Scorpio, October 24 – November 22):  Y'all are at your best when y'all are bein' a bit devious, and y'all will be happy to know that y'all will be at your best in the schemin' department for a long time to come.  Listen to them clever ideas that come into y'all's head, especially at work, and they should do you some serious good.  Somethin' new might just come along if you play your cards right.  It's a good time for visitin' with your close friends and relatives, at least the ones y'all like.  Be thinkin' about them pretty hard, especially which ones are your friends and which ones ain't.  Watch your back, and don't plan any long trips until the middle of May or so.  If y'all have to go somewhere now, drive careful.

Stetsons (a.k.a. Sagittarius, November 23 – December 21):  It's likely that y'all will be givin' your wallet a whole lotta thought over the next little while for one reason or another.  If y'all's spendin' habits are a bit excessive, this will probably bite you at some point, so think before y'all buy anything you don't really need.  If you're a creative sort, you should do well in this department this month, so be sure to take some time to think about how you might be able to benefit from any new ideas that come your way.  Y'all aren't the type who likes to be overly serious, but there are times that's just the way it is.

Dualies (a.k.a. Capricorn, December 22 – January 20):  More 'n likely y'all are on a bit of a power trip lately.  If y'all use it properly, this can be a good thing, especially if there are any people who tend to walk on you a bit.  Your home life should be busy this month and somethin' new might come along that you'll probably like.  Creative ideas are likely the last half of the month, so put them to good use.  Y'all may be tangling with some of the people y'all are closest to or they may be pickin' on y'all for no apparent reason.  Mars is the reason and it should go away by the middle of May.

Lonestars (a.k.a. Aquarius, January 21 – February 18):  Y'all will probably be busier than usual this month runnin' around, visitin' with neighbors and so forth, with something new likely.  Things around home will take up a lot of time, especially toward the end of the month, but it's a good time to take care of anything that needs fixin', includin' any of the folks that share the same roof.  If the people at work have been givin' y'all a bunch o' crap lately, blame Mars and just sit tight until mid-May when it should get better.   

Hurricanes (a.k.a. Pisces, February 19 – March 20):  How y'all manage your money and take care o' your stuff is likely to get your attention this month, in one way or another.  This is not necessarily a bad thing, and something new is probably comin' along.  Toward the end of April, y'all will probably be busy runnin' around doin' all sorts o' stuff you decide needs doin', maybe things y'all have been procrastinating.  Try to think about others a bit and do somethin' nice for the people y'all like or you might tend to be too self-centered and piss the people off who can do y'all the most good.

Sign Descriptions