Tycoons (a.k.a. Leo, July 23 – August 23): Y'all loves the spotlight and the spotlight is yours.  This would be a good thing, except those around you will probably get tired of listening to you sing "It's Hard to be Humble," especially since you mean every word.  Don't indulge in poker or other games of chance, at least if they involve money, until after the 8th.  It would probably be a good idea to bring your own, new deck of cards, even after that.  Getting into a fight is possible at your favorite hangout is you don't watch your temper.  Y'all are still expecting too much from the opposite sex.  You cain't expect someone to be perfect if you ain't yourself.  You may think you are, but not everyone agrees.  Really.

Cowpokes (a.k.a. Virgo, August 24 – September 22): Your luck should improve a bit after August 7th, but don't buy anything for the trailer or homestead 'til after then unless you wanna be ripped off.  If you're still hoping to find a job that'll pay more than you can spend, y'all are in for a long wait.  The opposite sex is as unpredictable as ever and your love life doesn't look to be changin' anytime soon.  Your reputation could suffer if you let your temper run away from you over some minor neighborhood scrap, so pop open a cool one and stay on the porch with your dogs rather than gettin' involved in somethin' you can't fix anyway.

Tumbleweeds (a.k.a. Libra, September 23 – October 23): Into the month a ways you might come up with an idea that you know will make y'all rich.  Chances are it won't, so don't pull that money out of the mattress just yet.  Your job is likely to be full of surprises, but don't piss off the boss unless you want a real surprise.  If there's somethin' you've been hoping for, it might be comin' your way.  Your friends will be more tolerant than usual this month, but don't push your luck.  If you get pulled over for speedin' or something, don't get defensive or the charges are likely to double.  Just nod your head, take the ticket and move on.

Oil Wells (a.k.a. Scorpio, October 24 – November 22): Chances are good that things are still breakin' down for no good reason, especially stuff like wiring and plumbing, and if you didn't fix it yourself more 'n likely you got ripped off.  Your luck should improve some soon, but that'll be partly because you're smarter now than before.  Your kids or lovers may be full of surprises these days and you may not like some of them.  Your sex drive is likely to be in high gear, but there might not be anyone in sight if you don't watch yourself.  You're likely to be chattier than usual at the ice house and folks might even laugh at your jokes.  Don't let it go to your head since it won't last.

Stetsons (a.k.a. Sagittarius, November 23 – December 21): Your luck is likely to improve after August 7th, but don't be too sure of yourself or it might bite you in the ass.  Your ideas may seem brilliant to you, but they're probably pie in the sky.  Your significant other is likely to be a major pain and start all kinds of crap.  Bear in mind that only part of it is them and the other part is you.  Actually, it's a good time to take that trip to El Paso or Oklahoma rather than just sittin' around watchin' the grass grow.

Dualies (a.k.a. Capricorn, December 22 – January 20): If you're still thinkin' you'll strike it rich someday, it may be time to give it up and find a better job.  Your ideas may be fancy, but making them turn some cash is another story.  Arguments at work are likely, some of which will be their fault, others your own.  Your sex life looks good, provided you turn on some charm versus the "Git in the truck, bitch" approach you usually use.

Lonestars (a.k.a. Aquarius, January 21 – February 18): If you have kids, keep an eye on them this month or they might break something you won't be happy 'bout.  The little devils are gonna be on the warpath worse than usual, what with school ready to start up again and all.  Your lovelife should be fine, however, and you might even meet somebody new.  Main thing is to know when to shut-up or you may wind up alone.  Your luck at the local pool or poker hall should improve after August 7th, but lookout for strangers who may a whole lot more than they let on.

Hurricanes (a.k.a. Pisces, February 19 – March 20): Things at home are likely to be hoppin' and fur might be flyin'.  The job is probably goin' fine, and talkin' things out with those close to you should go fine, if you have anything you need to discuss.  You might get a promotion of some sort at work or maybe they'll ask you to be president of the trailer owners association.  And by the way, don't mistake the fact you saw the ghost of the hog you raised in 4-H when you was a kid for a religious experience.  It probably had something to do with that bottle of Jim Beam combined with that twelve-pack of Bud Lite.

Longhorns (a.k.a. Aries, March 21 – April 20): Your brain and your mouth will be moving faster than a greyhound in heat, but don't mistake quantity for quality.  Nonetheless, it might impress someone of the opposite sex enough to get lucky, provided you know when to shut up.  If you have any court cases coming up, try to get them pushed out until after August 7th since your luck will be better after that, but still be prepared to find out a thing or two you didn't know. 

Tony Lamas (a.k.a. Taurus, April 21 – May 21): Things might have a tendency to break down more than usual this month, so be prepared to pull some money out of the mattress for repairs or replacements.  The kids should be on good behavior this month and you might event think about having more.  Your luck at the local poker game should be good after the 7th, but keep an extra sharp eye out for dealin' off the bottom of the deck.

Dust Devils (a.k.a. Gemini, May 22 – June 21): You'll be full of hell this month and moving faster than you did as a teenager in the back of that '55 Chevy.  Your luck with the opposite sex may seem to improve, but make sure you know what you're getting into because whoever you're comin' on to is probably hiding something.  If you're not careful, you could turn into the talk of the neighborhood, but not necessarily in a good way.

Verandas (a.k.a. Cancer, June 22 – July 22): Things at work should start to improve around the second week of the month, but there is still stuff goin' on you don't know about.  It's a good month to relax or get away for a few days, but if you do any drinkin', make sure you don't drive or you're for sure askin' for trouble.  If you don't have a designated driver, call a cab or walk. 

Copyright © 2007 by Valkyrie Astrology.  All rights reserved.