Cowpokes (a.k.a. Virgo, August 24 – September 22): Some idiot at work might cause some crap that will piss off your boss, but this might help you see something important, like you're in the wrong job.  Either that, or your honey might do something stupid that makes you the laughing stock of the neighborhood that helps you see you're with the wrong honey.  It's that time of year when it's a good thing to sit down with a fishin' pole and a six pack and do some serious thinkin'.  Do the math on your bills, then take it from there.

Tumbleweeds (a.k.a. Libra, September 23 – October 23): A surprise of some sort at work may require some rethinking on your part, especially if it looks like a lot of travel will be required in the future or possibly, worst case, someone could get sued.  You can probably schmooze your way out of things this time and wind up on top, but maybe it's time to think long and hard about what you'd say at them Pearly Gates if things don't set right with your conscience.  Don't be afraid to talk things out as it will probably come out in your favor, one way or the other. 

Oil Wells (a.k.a. Scorpio, October 24 – November 22): Changes relative to your kids, especially those living with your ex, could cause some problems with your current significant other or possibly your wallet.  If you've kept your nose clean, you can probably work everything out with minimal damage.  It's probably a good time to revamp your circle of friends and checkout that new ice house down the road or join a new bowling league.

Stetsons (a.k.a. Sagittarius, November 23 – December 21): Upsets at home, possibly due to something new at work, could cause some hassles with your sweetie, but you can probably undo the damage by getting as far away as possible for a few days.  Depending on the circumstances, it might be most effective to go alone.  Either way, give some serious consideration to what you really expect out of life.  Your friends are likely to be very sympathetic, but don't blab about anything that will bite you later.  

Dualies (a.k.a. Capricorn, December 22 – January 20): You might come up with some pretty controversial ideas that could stir things up at work.  If you have any hidden dirt on anyone, that could be the answer for quieting things down, at least for now.  If that's out of the question, think about schmoozing your boss about paying for you to go back to school.  Or maybe it's time to take those ideas to an investor and go out on your own so you can keep more of the profits.

Lonestars (a.k.a. Aquarius, January 21 – February 18):  If you have kids, keep a close eye on them or they might cause some damage to something you like a lot, like your wallet.  Lovers' quarrels are also possible, probably over the fact you spent way too much money at that last gun show.  Your best friend (or possibly your lawyer) may provide some good advice or at least a sympathetic ear to help you figure things out, unless you consider celibacy a viable option. 

Hurricanes (a.k.a. Pisces, February 19 – March 20): You may come up with some bright idea that doesn't set too well with the folks at home, like spending more time at work.  Ideas for making more money are probably a dime a dozen these days, but the real test is what they'll do to your relationships and whether or not you really care.  Just for grins, try to take yourself out of the center of your ambitions and see things from their viewpoint for a change.  If nothing else, it will probably improve your sex life if you at least pretend to be sympathetic.

Longhorns (a.k.a. Aries, March 21 – April 20): Your attitude toward work is about to shift into a different gear as various thoughts bounce around inside your head.  All that mental energy could motivate some significant internal conflicts.  Your best bet is to kick back with a six pack and dump on a good friend or possibly a sympathetic lover.  It might not solve anything, but you'll feel better in one way or another.

Tony Lamas (a.k.a. Taurus, April 21 – May 21): The people you hang out with might be acting pretty squirrelly and cause you to rethink some of your associations, especially if they cause physical damage to something valuable, including your bank account.  Things at home should go well regardless, and work projects should proceed smoothly, also.  Now that the kids are back in school, you'll probably be spending more time watching them play soccer anyway, so dropping your rowdy friends might not be a bad idea.

Dust Devils (a.k.a. Gemini, May 22 – June 21): You may be thinking of making a career change and be expending a helluva lot of energy making it happen.   Your ideas have a lot of potential for making some serious money, however, so make whatever adjustments are needed at home to make it happen.  Clever ideas like you're having now won't last forever, so exploit them while you can and tell everyone else to STFU. 

Verandas (a.k.a. Cancer, June 22 – July 22):  Now is probably a good time to go ahead and buy that fishin' cabin you've been drooling over.  Think about it, using both your head and gut, talk it out with the misses, then go check it out.  It will probably be a good investment, if nothing else, so give it some serious thought.

Tycoons (a.k.a. Leo, July 23 – August 23): Y'all may hear some really good gossip this month about some sorta scandal that could knock your socks off.  You just never know what them neighbors have been up to now, do you?  If nothin' else, the worse they are, the better you look.  You'll probably be tempted to spend a bit of green in the coming months.  Just make sure you can afford it before whipping out the ol' plastic.

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