Stetsons (a.k.a. Sagittarius, November 23 – December 21): You're likely to be riding high in the saddle this month, but watch it that you don't get too big for your own britches or one of your past misdeeds that you thought everyone had forgotten is likely to come back and bite you in your sorry butt.  Surprise breakdowns around the ol' homestead are likely, too, so keep the toolbox handy and make sure that everything is prepared for cold weather. 

Dualies (a.k.a. Capricorn, December 22 – January 20): You're likely to have some weird dreams this month and if there's anyone out there that's out to get you, you'll probably discover who before the month is out.  Some of the people in your life are getting on your last nerve  these days and pissing you off more than usual.  As the month progresses, this is likely to expand to include those you work with.  More than likely they won't be acting any dumber than usual, your tolerance level is just going to be as low as a sickle bar at harvest time.  On the other hand, your buddies at the ice house are likely to be quite sympathetic and welcome you with open arms, even if no one else does.  Now's when you'll definitely find out who your friends really are.

Lonestars (a.k.a. Aquarius, January 21 – February 18):  Your coworkers may be complete assholes this month, but if you light a fire under your own butt and move forward, you'll find you have some unexpected friends in high places.  Get-togethers  are likely to be plentiful, which will fill your schedule and drain your budget.  A cat or two is likely to get out of the bag at one or more of those parties, so keep your ears peeled for more than your favorite song.

Hurricanes (a.k.a. Pisces, February 19 – March 20): If you've ever done anything you don't want anyone to find out about, this may not be a good month for you.  Whatever it might be, it's likely to be blown out of proportion and be a real pain before things settle down.  Make sure you don't upset your sweetie or you might find something unpleasant in the bottom of your coffee cup or can of beer.  They'll certainly deny any involvement, but if you make them look you in the eye you're likely to see something other than adoration.

Longhorns (a.k.a. Aries, March 21 – April 20): Breakdowns or possible arguments with your honey are likely, possibly over having to put in more time than usual at work.  If you've ever thought of changing jobs in a way that requires going back to school or a major move, now is a good time to head 'em up and move 'em out in that direction.  Don't be surprised if it's something you never even thought about a few months ago, but makes a whole lotta sense now.

Tony Lamas (a.k.a. Taurus, April 21 – May 21):  You may be more irritable than usual, so avoid whatever hassles you can, which ain't gonna be easy.  If there's anything generally honked up at home, meaning people or things, it's likely to hit the fan around the holidays, and guess who's gonna have to fix the damn thing?  This will be a nuisance, though not necessarily a bad thing in the long run.  It could be something breaking down unexpectedly around the house that's a pain in the butt when it happens, but leaves you better off when it's all fixed up good.  Nonetheless, you're likely to see things a lot differently and be a little smarter by the time all is said and done.  On the positive side, your close relationships should go fairly well, so whatever is brewing, it ain't that.

Dust Devils (a.k.a. Gemini, May 22 – June 21): Don't get so busy that you neglect maintaining the car or house this month or something will probably break down at the worst possible time.  If you know something is about to go out, it probably will unless you jump on it like a duck on a june bug.  The good news is that you should be quite popular at work.  Things should go well and your coworkers be a little nicer than usual.  Personal relationships are likely to be going through some major Roto-Rooter-like activity that could change how you see certain people forever.  More than likely a secret or two is going to come out that is going to be very interesting.

Verandas (a.k.a. Cancer, June 22 – July 22):  People may get on your last nerve more than usual this month, and look out for that Full Moon on the 23rd, which is likely to highlight something in your personal life.  Maybe good, maybe bad, no tellin'.  The good news is that you're likely to be popular with members of the opposite sex, as long as you don't act like an idiot.  Things at work are likely to be intense.  Expect a lot of attention to be directed toward people's character and reputation with any hidden dirt they may be trying to hide flying about like harrowing during a drought.  Shakeups are likely, which could turn to your advantage if you show some class and stay out of the way during the dust storm.

Tycoons (a.k.a. Leo, July 23 – August 23): It's time to put your creativity to work solving any problems you may have with obtaining or maintaining your creature comforts.  For example, maybe you don't think you can afford that new HDTV, but there could be a way to swing it you haven't thought of yet.  Some poor moolyak may have lost his job and need to sell one or a local store may have a closeout.  Your creative juices in general will be expanding and you may also come up with a brainstorm of some sort that turns out to be a big deal.  They say everyone has at least one million dollar idea in their lifetime, it's just a matter of whether they act on it or not.  Things at home look favorable, so give it some thought while you relax with a beer and enjoy the holidays.

Cowpokes (a.k.a. Virgo, August 24 – September 22): You're a planner by nature, and the necessity is going to ramp up in the coming months, so brace yourself.  You're likely to have some mighty fine ideas, so write 'em down and do the research you need so you can make sound decisions.  There may be some changes around your home that ain't just whistlin' Dixie.  Keep an eye on your pipes if cold weather blows in, and make sure any outside outlets in use for Christmas lights are properly grounded. 

Tumbleweeds (a.k.a. Libra, September 23 – October 23): Santa will probably be good to you this year, so relax and enjoy it.  You're probably thinking about some pretty serious stuff lately and trying to weigh things out.  More than likely you'll come across something you didn't know before that will influence you in a big way.  Work has probably been one hassle after another, especially the first part of the month.  This should calm down by mid-month or so.  If you're self-motivated, you're likely to impress the boss, so take advantage of any problems you can without being told to make yourself look good.

Oil Wells (a.k.a. Scorpio, October 24 – November 22): You're going to be sexier than ever this month, so make it count.  There's an emphasis on your comforts, pleasures and possessions, which as some of your favorite things, should make things interesting.  Look out for any hidden surprises, however.  If you have any legal pokers in the fire, watch your back and don't take anything for granted.  If you've been thinking about how much you hate your job lately, it may be a good time to start planning to go back to school and do something different.  Remember, If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got.

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