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Everyone knows that kids go through "stages." What you probably don't know is that everything from the terrible twos to the trying teens and that threshold of adulthood crisis at 21 have an astrological explanation. Knowing what these influences are can increase your understanding of your child, give you more patience, provide guiding wisdom to help them navigate through it, and also inspire hope that yes, this, too shall pass. And don't think for a moment that once you get past 21 that these major events cease! That mid-life crisis and "empty nest syndrome" have astrological corollaries as well. It’s important to know the general theme of each astrological sign so you can understand how your child is "programmed, where s/he is going and thus prepare him or her for the journey. These are elements that will be ingrained in their psyche and will be there whether you like them or not; your child cannot do anything about his basic nature and neither can you. Ignoring this will not make those irritating qualities or behaviors go away; it will simply drive your child to other sources for whatever you don’t provide. I don’t have any problem admitting that I would do any number of things differently if I were raising my six children today. I wish I’d had the benefit of astrology; it would have changed my tactics in a plethora of ways if I’d had that insider information about what made each of them tick. Maybe I can improve some of my karma by sharing this information mingled with my experience. Those infamous yet predictable life stages come about primarily as a result of outer planet transits, i.e. Jupiter, Saturn, the asteroid, Chiron, and Uranus. Neptune and Pluto move very slowly and are primarily responsible for the "generational effect" where children born over the course of several years have these planets in the same sign, giving them similar characteristics as noted on the specific planet pages linked above. When a child is very young, the inner planets have the most noticeable effect. For example, around the age of 22 months a child will have his first Mars return, which is when Mars returns to its natal position on the child's Natal Chart. Obviously this coincides quite closely with the advent of the "terrible twos." Of course the most obvious "return cycle" is our solar return, more commonly known as our birthday. This marks the beginning of a new life cycle every year of our life, the specifics of which can be read in a solar return chart which is cast for the exact moment when the Sun returns to the degree it was in when you were born. This may be on your birthday or sometimes the day before or after. The Sun represents our ego and each birthday this gets redefined, either consciously or subconsciously. Children identify very closely with age, and this is part of the reason; we know intuitively that we've reached another milestone relative to who we are and progressed accordingly. Children tend to look up to those who are older and look forward to the additional privileges available as they get older, whether it's to start kindergarten, first grade, middle school, high school, get a driver's license, be able to vote, smoke, drink or whatever. We even look forward to 25 when our insurance rates usually go down! After that we tend to pay less attention because societal influences are less obvious. Nonetheless, the even decades such as 30, 40, 50, 60 and above are typically recognized, even for those of us that tend to try to ignore the years in between. I would hardly represent myself as the perfect parent. If I even attempted to do so I'm sure one or all of my six offspring would jump right in to quickly correct the record. One thing I've noticed, however, with not only my own but other people's children as well is that by the time they get through that first Saturn return around 29, they are usually either dead, in jail, or straightened out. I realize that is very representative of my Cappie "gloom and doom" nature of which I'm reminded on a regular basis by those close to me, but that doesn't change the fact it seems to work. Fortunately, the vast majority are in the last category. This undoubtedly relates to our first Saturn return. At that time, as well as a few stops in between as denoted below, we take a careful look at how we feel about authority figures, responsibility, our obligations, and the various restrictions imposed by bureaucracies and other large entities such as corporations. Back in the 60s the prevailing advise was not to trust anyone over 30. The implications of that sentiment reflected on the concept of a Saturn return where after that age people would have a higher regard for authority and "The Establishment" as it was derisively called back then. Now the "baby boomers" who grew up with that are twice that age! However, as a member of that particular group, I'm not sure we have that much more respect for authority than we did back then, particularly regarding this most recent crop of politicians. The following table denotes some of these key cycles and the associated influences you'll probably recognize, from your own experience growing up if nothing else. Since this section is largely about children, I haven't included much detail about cycles past the 20s, but rest assured that they continue throughout your life. Also note that I've only included the "hard" aspects, such as the square and opposition since they are the most noticeable. Favorable influences such as the trine are seldom noticed by virtue of human nature, which takes the good times for granted while resenting the bad. Note that the early to mid teens and around 21 contain overlapping cycles that often manifest as difficult times in the child's life and naturally this splashes on the parents stress level as well. If a difficult cycle for one or both parents is in effect at the same time it will be a very trying time indeed for all concerned, for example if one or both parents are having their mid-life crisis at the same time they're trying to raise a teenager. More information about planetary cycles is available under Planetary Returns.
Progressed Sun and/or Moon signs are other possible reasons for personality and behavioral changes you may observe in your child, other family members, or even yourself. If a child is born toward the end of an astrological sign, his or her Sun Sign will change at an early age. For example, based on the "day for a year" formula for advancing a birth chart, a child born at 25 degrees Pisces will display all the dreamy and typically gentle attributes of a little Fish for the first five years of life, then about the time s/he enters school, will become more aggressive and active than previously. Their interests will change, they'll become more bossy, have a lot more raw energy and be more drawn to or in need of physical outlets for their exuberance. It would be natural to "blame" this on the school environment whereas in reality it's the sign change. Thus, it's a good idea to take note of when this will occur and be prepared. Your child may wonder why s/he feels differently as well, even to the point of wondering "What's wrong with me?" which can be very disconcerting, especially if they're already at a difficult age. While they may not be able to understand or even belief in the astrological effects, you can and thus have a better idea how to help your child because of the veritable window astrology can give you into their deepest feelings and motivations. Conversely, if someone is born at the beginning of a sign, they won't undergo a sign change until adulthood. In other words, there are thirty degrees per sign, so if you were born at zero degrees, you will be 30 before you progress into the next one. No matter what age this occurs, it can be quite disconcerting to the person as well as those close to him or her. This can have an effect on all relationships but particularly marriages when one of the partners suddenly changes their personality. This is not to say that they leave their entire previous persona behind, only that another layer will be added. The beauty of this evolution is that it teaches us to understand others as we get to view the world through various zodiacal knotholes. While we never leave our birth chart entirely behind, these progressions add another layer of experiential wisdom. As an analogy, if you were born and raised in Montana you'll always possess the traits and paradigms you acquired from that culture. If you move to Connecticut you'll assimilate certain elements of that culture though at heart you'll still be a Montanan. Even Moon Sign changes are noticeable, sometimes even more so, at least once you know what to look for. I've had adult clients come to me asking why they cry more easily than before and react more emotionally to stress; this is usually explained by their Moon progressing into Cancer or Pisces. If someone suddenly becomes more worrisome, critical, complains more, has to blame everything on someone or something, and is more organized, maybe even to the point of being a neat-freak, the odds are good their Moon has gone into Virgo. Moon signs change approximately ever two and a half years. The lunar phase changes as well, which also affects a person's emotional nature and quest for learning. It's a very good idea for a parent to keep track of their child's Moon Sign since it has such a strong effect on their emotions. Especially during times that are highly charged anyway, such as the teens, it provides one more piece of data to help you understand your child and help him or her grow into a responsible adult. About the time each person reaches approximately 30 years old, they will experience their first Progressed Lunar Return, meaning that they will have experienced the entire zodiacal emotional spectrum, further adding to the wisdom they assimilate with their first Saturn Return. This has a lot more meaning and learning value when the person recognizes the different effects of each excursion so s/he can use it for understanding others' emotional natures. The Natal Moon Sign will still be in force, but the Progressed Moon will manifest itself somewhat similar to the way cumin will manifest itself when you add it to a pot of chili. It’s still chili and maintains its basic character as such, but there’s a new dimension to its flavor that gives it more authenticity. Learn more about your child's inborn traits |
--Timing is Everything--
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